Life's Crazy Rules

* Lerman's Law of Technology: Every technical problem can be overcome if given enough time & money. Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.

* Murphy's Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

* Law of Search: The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it. 

Corollary: It will not be in the last place you expect to find it.

* Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the company, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

* Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be do, you'll want to do something else.

* Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross references.

* Isaac's Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale and any food that starts out soft will harden when stale

* Kenny's Law of Auto Repair: The part requiring the most consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location.
 
* The Grocery Bag Law: The chocolate that you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

* Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will not be noticed. When you leave work early, you will meet your boss in the parking lot. 

* Quile's Consultation Law: The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services.