Weird Hollywood

Things to learn from the movies:

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. There is never any dust or lint in the ventilation ducts.

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames or explode.

The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.